Birthday

The word birthday by itself sends through me a shudder of excitement. Birthdays are special because it is an occasion of celebration to be crowned and crown your special ones. But as time passes by the occasion seems to lose momentum about its specialty. Why? Because, celebrations have started to pick pace on selfish motive. Being selfish is not as bad as wanting to harm someone. Often times we sow, to reap the harvest for ourselves. So are birthdays too. We make someone feel special that day, hoping that it would be reciprocated on our day. I’ve always envied the people who celebrate grand birthdays, not by themselves but with surprises from their loved ones. I’ve always longed for at least one such birthday but never had such a time although I used to celebrate many of my friends’ birthdays. Why does this happen? Because:

• People do not think the way you do. Not everyone gives back what they get and vice versa. In fact if you introspect, you would not have on discretion reflected the love of many people.
• You cannot buy friendship, you have to earn it. 

If you genuinely want to care for a person, show it to them from the heart, if they don’t reflect it back, you might also realize that you have to hold it until your worth is recognized. Over time, I have also realized that friendship cannot be planned, and the ones planned will not last. There are even arranged marriages but there is no arranged friendship. Birthdays are not occasions to expect. It is a day to be happy about and personally wish someone from the heart rather than materials. I’ve done crazy things for people on their birthdays.

Even when some refused any such plans, I thrust gifts and love but over time, I learnt to respect people’s preferences and refrained when they said no to gifts and celebrations. Now, I feel content that I would not expect anything from anybody for my next birthday because people who will celebrate you will love you for what you are and not what you give. Being unique, not everyone in life might fulfill your expectations but when someone becomes close to you, give them their space and time. After all, the best gift you could give someone is your time. Happy unbirthday to all of you ;) Celebrate everyday with love!

Mr.A

So this is my first post in #AtoZChallenge this year. With all your support hope I make it till the end! Cheers to all participants!

It was yet another time of my life when I was impressed with someone in random. Im Samyuktha. People call me Samy. He calls me Sam. Lets call him A (known by his first letter). I did not fall for him but liked his profile. I did not want him to reciprocate it either. But giving the benefit of trying, I asked him out. He responded courteously that his passion was more oriented with his profession at this epoch. I was not disappointed because I didn’t expect. However, in a curiosity to know this person, I fixed up our meet at a temple. Even though I was anxious about the usual type of men shying off in first meets, I was up for an introduction no matter how my opponent behaved. Fortunately, A was a confident and even better, a friendly man, willing to respect a woman for what she is.




After our formal greetings with each other and my home deity at the temple, we caught up for coffee late in the evening. We walked some distance and he pointed out at a secluded restaurant in dim lighting. Although he appeared decent, I knew that my first encounter with a stranger should be cautious. After all I’ve been to more places all by myself as a journalist and I was certain that I could handle being alone with him.

We preferred a table in the open and ignited our conversation with details about family. He commented about a girl inside the restaurant pointing at her as an aunty. Looking at that direction, I saw her facing with her back at us. As it was dark outside, mosquitoes would not let us alone and he ushered me inside. Moving into another seat, I saw that the so-called aunty being accompanied by another woman. Suddenly, she waved at me. Soon I recognized that she was my school mate. What a floppy date, I regretted. (Although the meet was disregarded as date on consensus between us!)


As I went closer to her, she was kind enough to alert me that the whole school gang was going to be there and that I could avoid embarrassment. Getting the hint, I urged him out and as we did, my school mates were sorry for that. My friend let out a formal apology that she hoped that it wasn’t them that we left, which became a subject of mockery later in conversation between me and A.






This meet gave us a ticket for friendship and gradually we met once in a while within the short span of time he stayed here. (He was due to return to USA in a month) As a matured guy, he was cautious not to fall nor let me fall in a trap of relationship and made his intent clear as not more than a kind acquaintance turning friend. Incidentally, his birthday fell in the same month and we met for dinner the next day. For someone who has been so kind to me, I thought he deserved some appreciation but was worried that my gifts would not match his kind of expensive goods. I resorted to a hand made birthday card that would contain the efforts put in to the amount of respect and gratitude I wanted to reflect back. And yet, I thought there was a special touch missing and it was only hours left before our dinner and I had to find out a nearby store to get something that was worth my special friend.


I tried my best but could not find one and finally gave up. A was on time for dinner and we drove aimlessly to spot a good restaurant nearby. My eyes navigated to one of the restaurants on my bucket list as we drove past the road. As soon as I suggested the place, the gentleman agreed and we ventured into it. He seemed to have a taste just as inverse as mine. However, the food there was good enough to consume. Against my dislike for pizza, I shared two pieces since it had an edibly thin base. As A and I conversed about our recent and past happenings, I handed out my card. He seemed to be okay with it and yet I knew that I had not given back my gratitude in full. On.our way back, I confessed about it and he opined the same as I did claiming that he had everything that he needed and this was the perfect gift. Some people might not be the missing piece of your life's puzzle but however their presence makes a difference at some point of life. A was one such boon to me. Even if he leaves India, he would be regarded as the special person who made me feel happy with his presence.

Friend

The definition of who a friend is, is complex and varies from person to person. I remember a birthday card which had lovely wishes except for one sentence which said that friends change with time and I had to paste a paper over it and change the word. I had different expectations and definitions for a friend with respect to my age. When I was 8, to me, friend was one person who will be with you forever. I was not a people’s person and I never bothered to be one. I always longed for just one friend who will stand by me. But, I am selective and I choose my friends because of which I even lost out on a diamond when I was busy collecting stones. I had one person who stood by me when everyone else deserted me, but I didn’t like her habits, her boisterous behaviour and stayed away.

When I was 14, I wanted to have a lot of friends and drastically changed myself accordingly. At that time, friends, to me were people who hugged me affectionately and waved at me enthusiastically every single time we met. At 17, friend, meant a bird of my feather, who was of my class and wavelength. Young blood was at its best and I kept in touch with all my old friends and always on a mission to make new ones. Ouch! I learnt that unlike school, I couldn’t trust people just because they were in my college but managed to wear the friendliness although I hardly called someone a ‘friend’.

At 23, I still make a lot of new friends, but learn from my past on what to expect and what not from people. Friend, to me is someone who knows your original self, accepts you anyway and loves you more than any mistake of yours could offend. Love, trust and friendship are inseparable. You cannot have one without the other. If you call someone a friend, make sure you mean it with all your heart and never let ego inside. It’s a pride to be stupid with your loved ones than to win over them. The more you fight, the more you understand how much you can give up for each other and get glued by love and trust. At this epoch, friend to me is someone who takes efforts to stay in touch with me and pacify me on my hard days. In the end the one thing that would matter is, who came in but never left and helped you when you were low and I’m glad that I have them already.

Tips for a good friendship:

*Give your friend, their personal space, don’t barge in too much

*Give them their personal time, don’t pester them to talk to you 24*7

*The more you give up for them, the more you win, never ever let ego win you.

Charisma

I’ve always admired those people who manage to pull in crowds towards them wherever they go. Have I been jealous of them? May be somewhere, but my admiration and inspiration has always succumbed. Perhaps there were some people who’ve made me wonder how such a person could gain so much importance when their character is not appealing to me. Here are the secrets:

#1 Carry an attitude that protects you. Don’t confuse attitude with arrogance, but do shield yourself with a high self-esteem.

#2 Listen and observe more than speaking. Plan your situations well before dealing a problem. Devise alternatives and use them wisely.

#3 Keep monitoring your progress. Its okay if you don’t have friends, but its not okay if you are complacent. Everyday should make a difference in your life.

#4 Most of the time you are going to spend is with yourself. So make yourself as interesting as possible! Consider your time worthwhile and develop useful hobbies. Not good at anything? That’s even better! Sign up for some music/arts/dance/yoga/writing classes and explore new areas.

#5 Don’t bend too much on anyone. Be a mirror but don’t crash when people throw stones at you. You cannot reach your destination if you keep throwing stones at every dog that barks. Keep calm and laugh at your foes, they are the losers anyway because they carry hatred and burn in it.

#6 Conquer your enemies by making them your friends. No, it doesn’t mean you should back stab them. It means that you have to sow seeds of love to eliminate weeds.

#7 Feeling small? Do something big. Help someone in need and they are going to be your loyalist forever.

#8 Forgive easily but never forget and show vigilance, lessons are meant to help you in future after all and forgiveness helps the giver and receiver to patch up things easily. That way both the sides are benefitted.

There were a lot of lovely people who’ve inspired and transformed my personality and I dedicate this post to my schoolmates Durga, Archana, Dhwani and Shobana who’ve played my first ever role modelsJ