Saturday, May 9, 2009

Boyfriends and girlfriends

"Boyfriends and girlfriends"; there, I've caught all the youngsters' attention. In today's world, having bfs and gfs seems to be a mania and a fashion. At age 17, it does not seem to matter if you have excelled in the academics in the final year of schooling, but if you have got a bf/gf. People who havent, are considered to be odd. They develop afeel of being out of the crowd. They get a shilly-shally if they are eccentric if they dont do what their peers do. This bubbles up with the false impressions created by the movies. "Love at first sight", "No caste nor creed for love", "Love bloomed in seconds", along with catchy, yet less practical punch dialogues by popular actors deceives and corrupts the minds of the viewers, because of which the youth dont even get to understand the distinction between "love" and "infatuation". Being obssessed about a paramour, the crazy feel of being ready to jump from a hill top, tearing one's hand with a blade, getting written an eve4rlasting mark of his/her name on the body IS NOT LOVE. Those are simply signs of infatuation. Knowing a person completely, getting to know his/her strength, weaknesses, vices ans virtues and still having a rapport in the relationship and a harmony between the hearts, with an assurance that he/she will lead a harminious life with his/her spouse IS LOVE. The concept of having a crush might be enchanting. But once, one comes out of it after having had crush he/she will realise how foolish they had been. But when they do, it might be too late, for, it might have costed their time, thinking and sometimes een life! Pre-marital sex might be charming. But its aftermath would be too painful[physically and mantally] to bear. One might have to face dangerous and incurable diseases like AIDS, pregnancy before marriage and other unspoken problems. Once the character is lost, then everything else will be lost. After all, will all these be worth the time? Arent we all born to accomplish something? "Love" is not a sin. But it relies on who does it. One cannot get a true love between the age of 16 and 20, when only then one seeks an identity for himself/herself and in the proces of knowing the real outside world. It is rightly said, "Appearances are deceptive" and "Look before you leap". A handsome guy and an ugly girl neednt be the same at heart. The former might turn out to be a devil while the latter might turn out to be an angel. "So how do I overcome the temptation? It is all age factor that tempts us towards such things" might be the immediate thought that pops up in one's mind. A clear understanding of truth and reality can help achieve thet. An awareness of the sexually transmitted diseases and the problems caused by it is necessary. Whenever you get to see someone as your bf/gf try to answer these questions.
1.Have I attained the age of marriage?[If no, why should you think of choosing your life partner now?]
2.Do I know this person completely?[If no, the feeling you have developed is surely infatuation]
There is nothing wrong in checking out his/her caste[If you have belief in it] for life and love are going to be the same when it comes to chosing your life partner. If you are certain that you have developed an infatuation towards a person, then these are the queries to be answered:-
1.Is it going to be worth my time?
2.Will it lead to any danger?
Whenever you get the feel of having pre-marital sex, then answer these
1.Will I be able to face pregnancy before marriage?[If its a female]
Will I be able to face dangerous diseases like AIDS, gonorrhea and chlamydia?
Sometimes one might be under the illusion of having had a protected sex. But if the sperm guard fails, they will be compelled to face unspoken problems. So teens and youngsters, have all these in mind and lead a secured and disciplined life. Dont forget - "Attitude determines your altitude" and hence "Look before you leap"!


  1. i actually like the questionaire part of ur post...
    its actually good and differet...

  2. Hmmm reflective post and quite a list to contend with.. Not sure many pay attention.. You are right..

  3. A good blog but I do feel that you haven't even tried to look at the other face of the coin. though its true that its very difficult to distinguish between love and infatuation but that doesn't mean there is nothing love or that you can fall in love at a certain legal age.

    It could have been even more interesting if you had taken both viewpoints into account.

  4. Hey thats a good educating post to college going kids and youngsters. This culture also prevails in corporate world. I mean between age group of 23-30. I don't remember how many times I have been asked (of course by gals) directly or indirectly about my status. I think girls are more obsessive in this matter than guys. Thats is why they fall prey. The MMS enabled phones have made the matter even worst. Can you imagine guys are exchanging the MMS of their very own GFs which ultimately kick start the chain of black mailing. I really feel sad to see girls around me and the kind of things they have dragged themselves in. How on earth can a 25 year old young lady allow someone to shoot her? Don't you think her brazenness is at more fault? And those who guards their modesty by not portraying themselves as a sex symbol, not pretending to be on the phone with their BF in case if they have none, not getting too close to guys, we sideline them as old fashioned. I bet 90% of the guys would like their spouse to be these girls so called old fashioned yet successful but not their GF. So got the difference?

  5. i think you have tried to use one post to address too many things. And Im not sure I agree with you in everything, but well, its just a matter of opinion. I have had so so many crushes, but no ma'am, I dont feel a bit foolish about them. I think it is something that comes with that particular age. Now, I can confidently screen what sort of person I would want for a life partner, what sort of attitudes I can deal with, and what sort of attitudes put me off. I am not hitting on values or culture, merely putting forth my point of view. Also, I dont think falling in love = premarital sex/ getting pregnant. That is a very very general statement that you have made. When two people know what they want from their relationship, they cannot go wrong. When you see a woman who has landed up in such a situation, you must blame her, and not "love", because she must have fully known what she was getting into. Like I said, when you have your own principles and are clear in your head about what you want, you simply cannot go wrong.

  6. "falling in love = premarital sex/ getting pregnant" Did I ever say that? Nopes... These are just some awareness, in case one conceives an idea of having pre-marital sex,they'll have to be prepared for its aftermath. And yes, having crushes could mean each thing to each one, some learn, while some fall and its the intelligence quotient with which they deal a particular situation. But I liked your explanation that having crush is not wrong:) Still ppl need to know where to draw the line when it comes to moral convictions. Got it?

  7. Very well put . Good advise.Thanks for dropping by my blog.



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